ladida.

i think it's sweet how people still love each other when it's been so long. respect. i like a love that is short, sweet and memorable. a whirlwind that leaves you bewildered. something that is secret and powerful and very very beautiful. I want a rollercoaster ride that thrills, a poignant film that is heartbreaking. something that looks good in a music video flashback. something i write about and gush and sigh. something that isn't everyday ordinary couple crap. but yesterday, i saw my couple friends jus sittin next to each other playin with their cats. i saw her giving in to him and him doing things just for her. And that was just plain beautiful.

meifen _ spoke at 4:43 PM

Not a good day. not a good time. nothing's looking go


ok, the weather is bad. I have sore back muscles. I am having my period. The cat is annoying me. I didn't get to watch the match. I feel fat. I am pissed at some person. I don't wanna talk about it. my friend is probably still sleepin and it's 530pm. I discovered I have no money. I watched a sad movie.

the only good thing i can think of now is that i am gonna watch shrek later and maybe go see king. how sweet.



meifen _ spoke at 5:13 PM

i have reasons to celebrate but because i'm a nice civil person, i will not say why or i might do something someone else will regret. so anyway, i was reading the archives of the blogs i actually do read from a long long eons ago and i realised that i've grown up mentally. tah dah! yes, every now and then, i still do childish stuffs that makes me scrape my knees or bruise my chin. things i'd rather not talk about.. but still, compared to long long ago, i'm actually toning down the numbers at a rapid-kill-bill kinda speed.

and then i realise that i am turning 19 in exactly 2 weeks (no, this is not a cheap attempt to make you all remember my birthday even though it helps). that is not good news.. at all. i am a late teen. LATE teenager. whatever happened to sweet sixteen and barely legal seventeen? they whizzed past so fast i didn't even break enough wrists to commerate them. worst of all, i was busy wishing i was 17 all through 18 and now it's good bye.. NOOOOOOOOOO.

see, i have reasons to dislike 19.

1) i am self-proclaimed childishly fun.
2) 19 = early 20s = mid 20s = late 20s = 30s= 40s = loss of meaning for 'c'est la vie'
3) i see my friends have found the one they wanna live and die with.
4) i am still a strong supporter of flings and short term fun.
5) some of my friends have lil families.
6) i have old friends.
7) i am receiving creepy 'care to be friends' friendster messages from 30/40 yr old ah pehs and my age is 18 on friendster. does that mean i'm old enough to date 30/40 yr olds and be their extra-marital affairs? or is it their desperate attempts to get hitched before their sperm count drops?
8) i have outgrown surf brands and no longer shop at surf, dive and ski, jetty surf and the lot.
9) i am in love with the likes of louis vuitton, gucci, coach and tiffany's. if i reach cartier, smack me.
10) i worry bout gettin fat.
11) i no longer have juvenile quarrels with my parents.
12) i think my friends in sec 4 are so juvenile.
13) i realise that those friends were actually lil puny sec 1s when i left fairfield.
14) it's been 3 years since i left secondary school.
15) i can't crash ac anymore cos i'm too old to do that.
16) someone says i can't be pictured in a school uniform anymore.
17) i was talking to a friend and he's looking forward to getting married, startin a family and buyin a house!?!?
18) i don't enjoy clubbing anymore
19) there's no thrill in gettin into clubs legally and without id checks (yes, i am a sucker for cheap thrills)
20) i actually miss listening to punk rock and boy bands ballads about the first dates and crushes.
21) the punk rock bands i listened to have all grown musically or are to ashamed to show themselves publicly anymore.
22) the new generation asks me what are boybands.
23) i can't find 'caught in the act' online.
24) my primary school friends are so different physically, intellectually, spiritually now. they all look freakin good.
25) my friend's sister, who we used to tease and bully when we're at her house, has grown up and looks bloody like my age. she was in primary 4 then.
26) i was a teacher.
27) i dun like the digit 9 too much.


now, i wonder if the older audiences reading this would think i'm so juvenile and say stuff like 'yea, we've been there. it's nothing. you'll want to be settle down and be happily contented too.' will i do that in a few years time? nice, now i got myself thinking.

meifen _ spoke at 1:04 AM

it's 2 days to the last paper. before i say 'yay', i'm actually feelin quite worried. i don't understand three quarter of my notes cos of the bloody neuropsych jargon. and the other quarter, i can't quite remember.. and the bestest (yes, i'm know it's politically incorrect) part is i've actually finish all the syllabus. Now, something even more worrying... i'm too distracted by the html crap (ooh, the wonders) and anne is frolicking around the house in blades. yes, we are in the midst of our exams.. and we're wondering why the weather is so good outside. the winter sale is on and there's sunshine streaking across the cloudless blue sky but we're stuck home listening to old boyband songs (i've established the fact that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that) and wondering why we are. it really is a bloody good weathery day.

ji ma ma is going to buy groceries and she asks if we need anything.. despite the fact that we have NOTHING to eat at home cept for half a cold quiche, 2 packets of indo mee and random sauces, we look at her and say, 'nope, we've got everything.' nice. and in case you were wondering we're not poor enough yet to use 'no money' as a valid reason. so tell me are we plain lazy or just can't be bothered?

one more thing. the cat has learned helpnessness. she doesn't try to get away from threats (such as our ever so random smacks, threats to throw her out the window and flicking her ears). if she develops some psych disorder and needs to see a cat-shrink, i'll tell tessa to blame anne. just because.

ruth: we're havin a lot of fun... frolickin in the sun. and orlando is in who magazine. n you can't get it. HAH! ok, no, i'm not that mean.

meifen _ spoke at 3:36 PM

one autumn ago, i fell head over heels with this dude. he was sweet. sensitive and gentle, yet his boyish charm is so understated. he had a sincere smile. he was friendly as hell. too easy going, always round the corner to say hi. I met him again, and again, and again. he was the best thing that happened to silly schoolgirl crushes. oh, he had a girlfriend too. that i found out later when they popped by someday. They were havin problems beneath their facade of a happy and tight relationship. and no, in case you were wondering, i was so not gloating. time and habituation caused me to forget his nice smile. then he went away one day. i said bye but it was so fast i nearly forgot i did. He went over the seas and somewhere up north. of course, he broke up with his pretty girl. (i am still not gloating). apparently, pretty girl is pretty crazy. she's hysterical and unresaonable at times. other times, she's alright. once, it was just me and her in a room. we talked... and she went on about some dude trying to pick her up and get her laid and all. somehow, she didn't even seem to care bout him (or his wonderful smile) at all.

one autumn later, i heard about him again. he was ok. she was unknown. then again, i heard about him. he was coming back. she was pregnant. is that the reason for his return? i don't know. but he doesn't love her and she doesn't love him. she wants to keep the baby. he is pressured to keep her. now i sit and wonder if he's happy.


nothing makes me happier than meeting you

meifen _ spoke at 8:31 PM

why do girls only fall for heartbreakers? or is it just me?

you came into my life and gave it a little spice. you were a whirlwind, spinning fast enough to leave me breathless but calm enough to let me breathe. we laughed like we were nearly high on weed, talked like everything was possible, flirt like life depends on it. we never acknowledged anything because there was nothing. but still we couldn't deny that there was something. perhaps it's the international code of flings, you came as fast as you left. not forgotten, never, but maybe you and i just left us behind. it's easy to call and say 'wassup?', but i wouldn't do that.

in church, admist the praising and singing, i thought about you. what sudden nostalgia... i don't even have a picture. after sucha long time, i realise my heart has been a little broken. i guess i miss you.


It's like jumping, it's like leaping
It's like walking on the ceiling
It's like floating, it's like flying through the air
It's like soaring, it's like gliding
It's a rocket ship you're riding
It's a feeling that can take you anywhere


So why they call it falling
Why they call it falling
Why they call it falling
I don't know


There was passion, there was laughter
The first morning after
I just couldn't get my feet to touch the ground
Every time we were together
We talked about forever
I was certain it was heaven we had found


So why they call it falling
Why they call it falling
Why they call it falling
I don't know


But you can't live your life
Walking in the clouds
Sooner or later
You have to come down


It's like a knife through the heart
When it all comes apart
It's like someone takes a pin to your balloon
It's a hole, it's a cave
It's kinda like a grave
When he tells you that he's found somebody new


So why they call it falling
Why they call it falling
Why they call it falling
Now I know

meifen _ spoke at 11:39 PM

one down, two to go and i feel lazy. today, the rain came in the morning. it was cold and wet and grey. and i had a paper. i was cramming like mad. did not help that the paper was highly confusing and the hall was cold. sometimes, i think i really need to get outta melbourne. life ends after 5 and starts at 11. but that's on sunny days.. other days, i dun even want to comment. nightlife is good, if and only if you have a car. i'm sick of clubbing. yes, it's all to do with growing up.

take me to spain. then hawaii til i'm feeling happy and smily, then jet me off to the philippines and vietnam. i'll go round south east asia after that and then head for china. yes, china is very colourful and nice. retail therapy in taiwan, hk and japan next... before i go to greece, italy and turkey for summer school.. and who could forget the americas.. i'll see usa, make friends from cali to new york and walk around the village. then i'll go to brazil and costa rica before i head back home. and for true closure, i'll go to egypt. but not now, bad timing. i'll leave the other continents out for early adulthood (it's still far away, i dun care). i'm such an optimist.



meifen _ spoke at 2:51 AM

It's a charmed life inocence wild
crayola skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
last page of the very last chapter
it's a story of a charmed life

It's a charmed life of explainabe grace
stumble and you fall right into place
it's a child's life worry you can feel the laughter
right from the typical chapter
that's the beauty of a charmend life

who needs to know when it all comes and where it all goes
who needs to know just where fate will take you there

ask me who i want to be and i'll say holly golightly.
ask me who i half am and i'll say molly gunn.
ask me who i can be and i'll say gaia moore.
ask me who i secretly am and i won't tell you.

everyone meet james franco. il est extremement beau. i can only say he's BEAUTIFUL.





meifen _ spoke at 4:28 PM

move your arrow keys if you can't see the whole picture, it's just f.y.i
-courtesy of the crazy girl who goes to school with me. i hope your knuckle is fine (please detect any possible sarcasm). I am learning to live a civil life and only have meaningful conversations.


I've been a really good and hardworking girl. For 3 days, i've gone to school in the wee hours of the morning and return home to study in the afternoon. the cycle repeats and i am doing it again. By wee hours, i do mean when the sky is still dark and fairies come out to play. I kid you not. THe uni lab is 24/7, a clever introduction to kids like me who are perhaps paying for wasted time of misfortunate forgotten lectures and tutorials. That is the sweetness of irony. The above picture sign is send by a partner who is in complete cahoots with me in our mindboggling quest of going to school before dawn. I am absolutely exhausted. But at least, i am fulfilled. I wrote my 4000 word creative writing here. I can't be more thankful for 24/7 comp labs.

Sighs.

meifen _ spoke at 9:39 AM