i was asked if i was happy yesterday. and i said yes. i truly am. and i wanna thank you for it. for everything.

i got a crazy note on friendster yesterday asking me to be a model for 'not the normal portfolio but more erotic and provocative shots'. hmmm... i saw the works of the dude. nope, it's not porn. it's more artsy fartsy photography magazine kind of eroticness. and no, it's not full frontal nudity. but it's definitely sexual. it kinda really got me laughing. i feel flattered. but seriously.. it's cool but not really my kinda thing.. at least not yet. never say never cos when you do, it's really hard to turn back when you know you're in too deep. ok, i see myself digressing.

but eeuww... ok, not eeuww eeuww but more like hmmm, eeuww...

---------

right now, it is later in the day or rather, early in the evening. the sun is setting later nowadays. woohoo. it was 6+ yesterday and stil fairly bright. ok, so there's no comparison to a certain place called home but it's an amazing phenomenom here. well, at least in spring. i can smell the scent of summer, it's so close it's sickeningly sweet. think flowers and lemon juice in a pina colada sort of way. oh, i can nearly jump in childish anticipation. so, i went shopping at 230. it was more like impulse rush shopping. no collins or chapel street cos i'm feeling too poor and too chachad to waltz in and out of sophisticated boutiques. but anyhow, i bought and tried and bought and tried and tried and tried some more til i got fed up and bought make-up instead. do not blame me, they were necessities. i'm goin to reclaim tonight and i need to look pretty right? ok, i'm goin to get ready now or else my clubmates will never forgive me for being downright bitchily late. and i am sick and tired of mad rushes.

mad love. mad pash. mad sex on the beach.
smokey eyes, m.a.c lipglass and martinis.
royal melbourne hospital and 10 missed calls.
fish with pasta in grass flavoured soup.
battle royale 2 and discovery on cable
mad love. mad pash. mad sex on the beach.


meifen _ spoke at 1:01 PM

did you watch the episode of sex and the city when samatha flashed to carrie cos she had red hair down under?? why am i thinking about that? no, think out of your dirty mindsets people.. i'm just wondering how do you respond to something like that if you were carrie? say for example your friend accidentally flashed and you were so not expecting it. then it pops out and stares you in the face .. then what? what if she flashed her boobs one after the other, then you witness it go pop pop. ok.. i should stop. but seriously, do you laugh and turn away or go stunned speechless and watch your friend very slowly realise her incidental exposure? hmm...

oysters are aphrodisiac. so are chocolates. especially dark-melt-in-the-mouth-and-envelop-you-in rich-aromatic fantasy ones. see, my point. then there are rose petals and candles with pleasurable scents. and of course, who can forget oompha music in the background. now, that's making love. it's a fine line between having sex and making love and yet, both carries connotations worlds apart. after watching much hentai (it was for a rather studious purpose) and sex and the city reruns for the past few days, i have come to a good conclusion that plain having sex is just not for me. i'd much prefer a session of hot passionate love-making.

and just in case, it shouldn't be a taboo topic so it's ok to talk bout it.

chuins: i'm going to fullmoon now... woohoo.. mambo for me tom ok? wad's your sporie no?
ruth: save the fish and co. for me!!!

meifen _ spoke at 9:06 PM

the soldier's coming home.
wham. the playboys won the match today, with two beautiful 3 pointers that swooshed down the hoop, swaying the net in a flirtatious manner. how sweet the sight. and i clapped and cheered and smiled inside.

i didn't sleep for 22 hours and going. still strong keeping up with the 10 hours worth of sleep within 3 gruelling days. i make it sound so noble. but hey, it really was work and play (which equates to work cos it's something you work hard for) so i have every cause to sound tragically noble and tough. but the general gist was it was a good week.. with the exception of a slowly fading friendship. but that's ok. a friend said two words to me and it had quite an impact. its been a while since anyone came close to impactful. and i thank God for him. really, i do.

everyone should just drop all you're doin now and go watch THE TERMINAL.
those who've watched it already, congratualations, you're one of the few wise moviebuffs of modren age flicks.
those who haven't shouldn't even be here reading this line til you actually get past the above one.
oh such sweet sorrow and clever humour, it has left a horrible plague in my heart. no, it's more like a poison that's subtly deadly, waiting to gnaw away parts of me when i don't realise. well, it's all good.
but like i said, taste is relative, so there's no contest why this is or isn't a good film. I am only so thankful i didn't/aint/will hopefully never date a pugnacious philosophically inclined lost-the-whole-point dude or i will not hear the end of this. and i am just talking about me thinkin this film is cool.
why do i get this feeling some people will know what or who i'm talking about?


meifen _ spoke at 1:24 AM

it hurts when you don't care. sometimes, i think about how we used to be, when you can tell me everything and laugh it out and we have squabbles and we bitch it out. but now, you lock yourself in the room and signal for me to go away. time. how sweet time can be.. let's hope it heals this time.

it hurts how you care so much. you try not to show it but i feel the sadness in your tone, in the look of your eyes before you turn away. i feel how it's ripping you inside that i ain't sharing, that i am not giving the way you want me to and how unfair it is to share. i know you know that i've said before how unobligated it should all be but you can't help feeling the way you do. still, i don't blame you for anything. it's too beautiful to destroy; but i always spoil things anyway.

it hurts when you say i'm like a wine. a sweet gorgeous wine that you have just opened. you can't touch it and have to wait for the right time, temperature and setting before you get a little taste of it. but what kills me is how you say you can never finish that bottle because you're sharin it with someone else. don't drive me crazy with these words. don't. i'm a little player so you can't encourage me by being one. you make me guilty and i'm not even supposed to be. i'll try harder but that's if i can bring myself to. i hope i don't. not for another few months at least.


stressors in life you can't get away with. see if these came a lil earlier, one at a time, things wouldn't be so complicated. ouch. ouch ouch. and every now and then i remind myself that i am stronger than that. i'm going to have a warped mind.

meifen _ spoke at 1:13 PM

another fight. now now, when will this stop? see, i found another reason to repel from this relationship i can't define. this time, it wasn't you but you were involved anyway. sometimes, you know too many people, have too many connections, lead such a high profile life, it gets tiring. she told me that you are too busy, too popular. she told me many things too. i knew them all already. it's good cos when you leave me behind, i can leave you behind too. so all's fair. the only problem is i'm so vain but you, you dun care.

anyhow, i made one of the bestest lattes today. woohoo. i am not braggin mind you, it really did look pretty splendid. i shan't comment on taste cos coffee and i have bad blood between us and taste is very relative. and i had sushi for lunch and four eggs plus alot of mayo at the start and end of 12 exact hours.

in an hour and a bit, i'm going to a very sweet, frivolously flirtatious friend's place to watch cantonese movies in a bid to improve cantonese. for me, it's jus so i can speak another one of those things that sounds cool. for him, it's so he can find the roots of the other half of his east-meets-west blood. good for me, i brought along a chaperone person (no, friend is not the word) to guard me from doing bad things. now, if only i can keep that in mind.

meifen _ spoke at 5:27 PM

the sweetest goodbye.

I'll never leave you behind, or treat you unkind
I know you understand.
And with a tear in my eye
give me the sweetest goodbye,
that I ever did recieve

i'll say goodbye no matter what. now that i've made up my mind, it'll take a lot for it to change. so come a few months time, and it's over. Over as the rainbow arches in the sky, over as the days we can no longer buy. so let this whirlwind pretty thing last as long as the whirlwind stays. before i get blown away to another land i miss so much.

Happy Birthday, my sweet stranger.



meifen _ spoke at 8:56 PM