where were you day before yesterday? i was walking down bourke street towards nike melbourne with venus, stef, joy and tes when this smelly asshole of a junkie mugged stef. she had her wallet and venus' nokia7200 in her hand when he attempted to grab em outta her. and of course, a scuttle gruttle struggle broke out. at first, we were oblivious cos stef did not make a sound. then when i saw the face of that junkie and the phone between their hands with venus shouting,'that's my phone.' i realised we were being mugged. ok, so like reflex, i went over to help stef, kicking the ass outta the guy. he dropped the phone and we couldn't be bothered so we jus let him off. but then stef realised her wallet was missing.. so we turned and ran after the guy. the idiot being an actual idiot ran into the little corridor that leads to the lift in village cinemas. and when i say little, i mean little, the corridor is the kind that spells there-is-a-cul-de-sac-in-front. so of course, 5 girls cornered him demanding the wallet out of his crap. some security guard sauntered in, nearly half disbelieving what happened. alas, there was no wallet but being pissed already, we dialled 000 for some public service. when the police finally arrived, the asshole claimed that he was walking along the street when 5 girls attacked him and chased after him. like right. i wonder if it was cause he was so appealing with his waif like build, reeking clothes, scruffy face and unwashed hair. and because he had several wallets with him, he told the police that he jus picked up some wallets off the ground and wat nots. then he said we were RUDE. wtf. ok, so they searched him and there was no wallet cept for a probably used syringe; and we checked the street and there was no wallet as well. so oh well, it's the best we could do. sorry stef. but it's a funny way to bond yea? huh, and when we told mikiko the story after that, he jus smiled his very nice, beautiful eyes smile, not really believing us. but swoon, he's forgivable. he is really a beautiful man.. sucha lovely balinese hunkydory dark rich tall beautiful flutterylashes eyes. and he's so shy i'm so in love. sighs.

and today is asami's birthday. heh.. pretty leopard print loving lady, happy 19th.

i don't like fighting with you the way we did. i don't like the silence that follows. i hate the way you talk like you're giving commands. i hate you. nae nae.


meifen _ spoke at 9:59 AM

ah.. huh huh... my essay, my heartbreaking piece of genius is lost. simply, plainly, stupidly disappeared from the essay box. why? and to make matters worse, my lecturer emailed me on the 15th and 18th to inform me but i only saw the email yesterday. and he's away on holiday. how? sure, i'm not dumb, i kept a second copy but the whole issue revolves around him believing my story that i've handed it in and not that i'm late. besides, he won't mark it after a week.. so how? why? and i thought that after crim paper tomorrow i can be trap happy summer floating with my babyboo.

furthermore, i am addicted to ajisen ramen. geso karaage, gyoza, volcano ramen, oyakodon, gyu tataki, agedashi tofu. oh no.

very sad.

a long time ago
of blurry childhood visions
where clouds float by
admist the blue sky
you said you wanna hold my hand
and walk me till the end of time

now, i only see the ground
as if the skies are shades of grey
from that day on
i forgot to breathe
the tears have dried
i'll no longer cry

our love
never returns once it's gone
even now
i wait blatantly in vain
our love
has become your burden
but i'll never let go
the comfort of your warmth
the sweetness of your touch

no longer ask if you love me
i just want the freedom to fly
away from this colourless world
where i'll be nevermore lonely


meifen _ spoke at 8:12 PM

i'm sorry for being the cause of everything. i'm sorry you think i'm stupid. i'm sorry for gettin myself pissed when i'm showing my support for you. i'm sorry i look the way i do. i'm sorry those people were harassing me. i'm sorry for the fight i didn't start but was the cause of. i'm sorry you have influential friends. i'm sorry i don't have a choice readily available for my schedule. i'm sorry i have exams in three days. i'm sorry my housemate is leaving on monday and i've made plans with her. i'm sorry we didn't have any opportunities to talk cos you've been so damn fucking busy. i'm sorry i'm so clueless. i'm sorry you never care. i'm sorry cos i'm not.

meifen _ spoke at 10:52 PM

POR LOS MOMENTOS DIF CILES
YA ENTENND QUE LA FLOR M S BELLA
SER A SIEMPRE PARA MI

Lydia, eyes of mystery
why wander the heartbroken high seas
hurt displaced your smile
who can the gypsy sing for now?

you will see the clouds, the sun and the fog
reminiscing their repeated separation from earth
he's gone but left your haven untouched
and when the wind blows over, it's a sunshined world
he's gone, you can leave the dreams behind
so there'll always be a place where love can be found

Lydia, happiness isn't that far
open the blinds and make a wish
you'll taste the love, the hate and learn forgiveness
life isn't just a bed of thorns

---

sometimes, i like to live like Lydia. Sometimes i think i am.

sometimes i wonder what's it like to love someone who is in love with another person that died but lives on in the heart of the other person so they're not two but one entity. i wonder how to deal with the fact that though she's by your side, you can never enter the place she kept for the love of her life. i wonder how you can accept that she loves you a lot but it just never measures up. and i wonder how you can cope with the fact that you can't tell her to go to the other guy cos he isn't there. how the hell do you love her and the person she loves most all at once knowing it isn't you.

i know i can't deal with not being number one. i just can't. et vous?

meifen _ spoke at 2:10 PM

introductions are by far the worst things people have to go through as part of some man-made social contract theory. i did one yesterday.

hi, i'm meifen. 2nd yr psychology at melbourne uni.
and i've got an exam tomorrow.
i am nineteen, dreading twenty, feelng fat and tired.
i work at l'incontro with a buncha of the bestest people i can think of working with
cept for two irritating lousy excuses of living things.
and a whole bunch of two-faced hypocrites called thebossandhissuckeroos.
i've got 24 cognitive psych lectures to go through,
one 2275 word essay on islamice civilisation to start and end,
12 personality n social psych lectures with slides averaging 50 to memorise
and 24 more sociology of crime and deviance lectures to read cos i need full marks.
other than my very obviously boring academic life, if academic at all,
i am just a flirty, random, peanut butter loving lady
with a pretentious flair for fashion and drama and all things limelight stealing.
i like glitter and gloss, the glamour glowing on my face
yet, i can't deny the dark, streetdirt grubbing sneaker wearing side of things.
my period just ended, so it's definitely safe
unless my hormones decide to take a twist in life
but it's not like i will or want to anyway.
i stole a trolley from big w off the road today,
with 20,000 eyes staring at me but o well.
actually, i didn't steal it,
it jus fitted into the finder's keeper's theory very well
i don't like the cat, she's called meow meow and she's black.
and i know 3 other people who would dislike her, so i am justified.
tentatively, i'm working my ass off even through the exam period
cos according to a very unfriendly housemate, anna smith,
i've squandered of my rent on stuff i can't find.
i prefer to say life stole it from me and blame it on luck.
oh, i don't actually believe in luck.
i can't wait for the 12, 15 and 25 cos it's gonna be one relief after the next
and i absolutely can't wait for the 17th cos i dun wanna drink vinegar.
did i mention i burnt the waste bin with a 60watt lamp?
yes, i am a sucker for carelessness but i'm not the worst.
and on the 19th, i've got a lil swinging to do at DeFrost, Room 680, Glenferrie
no, i am not attempting to promote.
but i'll do it cos i'm very nice ok.
and very soon on the 16th of dec,
i'll be happily strutting the arrival hall of changi int airport
and that is provided all goes well.
which reminds me i need to pick up my ticket.
so ciao, i'm very happy to meet you all.

dun worry, the stress factor hasn't gotten to me yet. i only mentioned the 1st two lines. be glad for me.

meifen _ spoke at 6:06 PM