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Friday, June 24, 2005
tired, restless, sleepless, worked out, muscle ached. partied out? never. yes, it's still dandy and occupied. i'm so glad i have no time to stop, pause and think. i'm so glad for little triangles i create, maybe squares. me, i haven't been this sad in a long time, that i'm not even sure if i'm really sad. i'm so unaffected by it. it scares me that maybe i'm still in there somewhere, doing what i do, and he'll float away someday without me realising it. i wonder why i can't sleep. allie, the insomnia is back. i wonder why i fall asleep and wake up with tears on my pillow. i really don't know. this evening, i managed to head back to the house for a 2 hour much needed nap before heading out. and while i was sleeping, i cried softly and slowly and the pillow was damp from droplets of saltied tears. and when i woke up i had no time to reconsider what occured but dressed back up and got out of the house. maybe it's the lack of time that i have. i'm jus glad i have no time to think. tim tam tim tam. you're on my mind. and i told you- watch out. Friday, June 17, 2005
mon: e memory stolen from me,something about mr and mrs smith. and then a house gone wrong and temp goodbye to a buddy tues: kirin, late night rides private screening of edison and me a bad night's sleep and bad behaviour wed: beer and sashimi, kl food and sporie drools cookie sessions only we know about. secret ingredients that tingle your senses friends from season one to eight a laughing fest and unfulfilled wishes thurs: 5 o clock- an asahi fest. 530 - big 2, blackjack, and kirin 6 o clock- poker and crown risks more beer, umeshu and stella bar it's wine, lesbian talks, five ten and yummy german biers. then 10 oclock comes and dinner time beef teriyaki, enoki rolls and agedashi tofu more biers and more games til it says 2 am. and then i think i can fall asleep w/o you. so what's the friday like? maybe you really didn't hurt me the way i tot you did. maybe we just walk pass each other and the hurt wldn't come maybe my heart was dead before i tot you broke it maybe love is jus a picture perfect scene we deem it to be maybe all these are jus delusions made up in a dreamer's head. Wednesday, June 15, 2005
i lost someone i love. i asked for it. i dun regret it. but that doesn't mean i can't be sad. very very depressingly upset. it happened in the rain, outside where gangstas glorified the streets. and there was the goodbye kiss. so as the days fade and time tick pass so quickly, i spent every moment smiling and laughing and willing it away. dun leave me alone if you are good fer me. it's 3.17pm and i jus got home from last nite. so, allie, you know what happened to the bedpost. but anyways, i dunno how i'm supposed to feel but this feels like a disgustingly arrogant good feeling. i'm not even sure if i'm disappointed with myself. so it's true i can't call you darling and you can't call me baby and the wheels of fortune left us dry and empty and i'll pick it up with several loves, who knows? and you'll leave it there and be a stranger in despair and i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away my sweetest stranger my virgin road to danger. loved love. still love. Friday, June 10, 2005
the papers are over and out.stats paper: - reminded housemate to bring calculator - check - reminded housemate tram ticket- check - reminded housemate of stationery- check - reached exam hall 5 mins into time - check. - forgot own calculator - check. - did hand calculations for sq root 0.36582 - check. other than that little blunder, everything was slick happy and ecstatic joyjoy yesterday. went shoppin after paper, went to the gym, went shoppin again, had nice nice dinner, terrorised my cool buncha people, went to playersonlygon and scored free drinks, went to lincon for my darling brotherly talks with colin. so we sat and toked for 5 hours. straight up neat, raw and perfect. and today i'm gg to BOXHILL for another shoppin-cos-i-have-all-the-time-in-the-world expedition. i talked to colin for 5 hours. how brain sappin and intriguin and absorbing. then he was giving me all this views about love, life, lies, luck and basically stuff that scares the shit outta me and makes me shake my head at him and makes me wanna cry on his shoulder and makes me stare at him in undeniable disbelief. then, the stalker came and offered me some mags to read and while i did, i stumbled across my horoscope. and as much as a big fat cynic i am, i'll let ya know how ironic it is. it says that this week, i'll have a cloud of confusion over my head and things will be clearer towards the end of the week. and fortunately, thursday's link between mercury and uranus could bring an overnight solution or i may see things from a new perspective. Today's 3 way drama is tomorrow's triumph! and i couldn't believe the relevance to my life it has right now. awesome.. see, everything is relative. i'm still a cynic. but it's cool ain't it... seeing your face made me happy yesterday. wanting to see you made me confused yesterday. thinkin bout you broke my heart yesterday. Saturday, June 04, 2005
i miss you baby. it started from a game of five ten. my weed dusted fingers appearing and disappearing and we drank so much of cheap china beer and heine. my lips were raw from kissing tender lovingly pink and sideways frown yanked me away from where i should have stayed and you were so drunk from cheap beer and heine and i keep dreaming about you espadrillas, airbrushed legs and sexaye gansta partys like we have in reality skullin shots and getting drunk on cheap beer and heine and you thought you won and i thought i lost but who would really know when all we do is laugh a communal joint in dirt stained public toilets and had a drink too much of cheap beer and heine. and i don't think i love you i'm just near the brink of you taking me on majestic flying wings but i had too much to drink of cheap beer and heine. Thursday, June 02, 2005
oops. i did it again. fuck fuck fuck. i hate guilt. SLUT. :( |
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